Moving On

Today has been a pretty sad day for me.  My best friend, Johna, is moving to Montana. 

  

 

I’ve been watching her pack, and I’ve been trying to stay out of the way while still getting some last minute visiting in.  They’re not sure if they’re leaving late tonight or early in the morning… but they’re leaving soon.

Yeah, I know this move is better for her family. I know that this move will save them money.  I know I will still talk to her all the time on Facebook and on the phone.  I know that change is just a part of life.  I know that she will still be my best friend. But knowing all of those things doesn’t make me any less sad.

She is the one friend that I have in this town who has seen me at my very best and my very worst… and she loves me anyway.  She is the friend whose house I can drop by unannounced.  She is the friend who I can borrow things from or loan things to, and I never have to worry about what I owe her or what she owes me because we always end of even in the end.  I was at her wedding… she was at mine. She was there when my sister was fighting cancer.  I was there for her when her Grandpa died, and she was there for me when Granny Ruth and Grandma Sally died.  Our husbands are friends.  I was there the day her daughter was born and I have watched Elizabeth grow up into a beautiful, smart young girl of almost seven.

It’s hard for me to be rational and happy right now.  I know, I know it’s all for the best. But right now, while this wound is fresh, I just keep thinking about how much different life is going to be for me.  I won’t have anybody to watch really, really bad reality t.v. with.  Elizabeth is going to get bigger, and I’m going to miss it.  I’m going to have last minute ideas… things to do that normally Johna would’ve been all for doing… but I she won’t be here.

I’m going to take this day to feel sorry for myself.  I’m going to let myself feel sad today.  Then tomorrow, I’ll start thinking rationally again.  I’ll be a better friend than I am today… less selfish.  I’ll start thinking about all the fun times that still lie ahead… the road trips, the phone calls, the blog she will be starting, the stories of new, fresh places.  Tomorrow, I promise, I’ll focus on the future and the unknown journeys ahead.