Hey Everyone. Allow me to introduce myself.
My name used to be Chip. In my old life, all I was ever known for was cracking nuts, and even then, it was usually only during the holidays. I was unappreciated and hardly ever used. In fact, my old family cared about me so little that they threw me in a dumpster… you know, one of those green boxes. I thought I was done for until, much to my surprise, a man who was throwing away some garbage of his own spotted me lying right on top of the pile. He reached in, grabbed me, and later gave me to his daughter Karen.
I have been living with Karen now at various addresses for close to twenty years. Don’t get me wrong, it’s been great, but part of me has always been scared of being down in the dumps again (literally and figuratively). That’s why I decided to make a radical change. I decided a squirrel named Chip is too ordinary, too easy to throw away. I need a new alias. Which is why, from now on, I shall be known as: The Jazzercise Squirrel (note the headband and armbands).
It will now be my life’s mission to remind Karen to eat healthy and to exercise. Someone needs to keep her in line. And I will make sure to look good doing it. Well, maybe not as good as these people:
I could never find a leotard that would fit me. But don’t worry, I will strive to do my best job motivating a healthy lifestyle, and cracking a few nuts in the process (I’m talking to you, Chris). I won’t let anything by me. I’ll be watching.
The Jazzercise Squirrel